Sunday, April 27, 2008

Thoughts on Children, Life and the Pursuit of Happiness

I am embarrassed to say that I have been a little to interested in the Polygamy Child protective case in Texas. I am almost drawn to it. Desperate to understand their lives. Haunted by the fact that my life could easily by like theirs if my ancestors who practiced plural marriage had chosen to continue being polygamous. Why did the ancestors of these FLDS polygamist choose to continue practicing polygamy? Why did they choose to create there own religion? Obviously they thought that everyone else was wrong. The obvious answer doesn't seem like enough to me.
I have bin unable to pin point my obsession with this subject, but I think it is voiced in this article from The Salt Lake Tribune. In the article Peggy Fletcher Stack, writes: "Mormons, especially those with polygamist ancestors, feel conflicted as they watch Texas authorities separate FLDS families on the basis of alleged abuse. They don't support the practice of polygamy today, yet these Latter-day Saints see the faces of their great-grandparents in the FLDS women and children. They hear echoes of 19th-century salacious - and false - rumors about their Mormon forefathers. And they worry about government officials having power to decide what's best for children."
I think my curiosity slash obsession with this subject and the images of polygamous families comes down to this. I see my mother and her grandmother's as I look at images of polygamous families. Both of my mothers grandmothers grew up in families that practiced plural marriage at the turn of the century. I see something in there faces something in there eyes that draws me in. The curiosity is not entirely new. I had watched specials on polygamy and read about the FLDS online for years (out of some kind of morbid curiosity). Always haunted by the little part of myself that I saw in them.
I don't support polygamy and have never considered what I would really do in the situation that they face. I am totally against sexual, physical or psychological abuse of anyone. I feel like the free agency of the women and children in this community has been restricted. That the restriction of free agency and civil liberties is wrong. And yet taking all the children away from these families seems more wrong. Another less sympathetic part of me thinks that they had it coming! When the church stopped practicing plural marriage in the 1890 the prophet warned that if people continued to practice polygamy the men would end up in jail, there families would be separated, that the government would confiscate their land and temples. That seems to be what is happening now. To these people. I read in an article somewhere, that men stood out side the FLDS temple in Texas and cried as the police broke down the doors of their temple with battering rams. I can not even imagine. Why even have laws that protect our civil liberties if police can brake down the doors of a building of worship and search it. I am not sure where I stand. Abuse if there is any needs to stop. Young Adults should live in the real world for a year or two and then make a decision about if the polygamous life is what they want. People under the age of 18 should not get married at all! No one should be aloud to marry some one old enough to be there father in any society. But is taking away all their children and putting them in foster care facilities the answer. Darin does not understand my obsession at all. He thinks I'm a nut case.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Thoughts on Friends and Casual Friends

Since this blog is for me to share my thoughts and discussions with myself. I thought I would actually share some of my inner dialogue. Inner dialogue you say, yes I have it not all the time but occasionally.
After getting my hair cut I went to the store to get essential short hair stuff. I was looking at a shelf or curling irons. And saw a curling iron with bristles sticking out like a round brush for curling your hair under. I looked at it and thought that is exactly what I need and then I remembered a comment Leslie made on this blog a few weeks back about an unfortunate experience I had with a bristlely curling iron in high school that got caught in my hair and had to be removed with fingernail clippers and a screw driver. I had completely forgot this ever happened until Leslie mentioned it as a response to a post. How do you forget getting a curling iron caught in your hair for two and a half hours! I am really not sure, but I did. As a was making Bacardi virgin strawberry daiquiri mix yesterday I was again reminded of Leslie. She introduced me to virgin strawberry daiquiris.
Then I started to think of how odd it is that we have some friends that we have forever and some friends that are just casual friends that really never make it to the friend- friend (or true friends) stage. I feel like most of my friends now are in the casual friends category. Although I have several people that are part of this casual friends category some of them know more things about me that my friends do. Is this weird? They know odd things that you might share at bridal showers or as part of party games. Is it odd that I would share things with casual friends that I have not shared with my friend- friends. Does this make me a bad friend? I hope not! I think it has to do with context. I don't usually call by buds and say, I had the most embarrassing experience! But these things come up in social situations. My core group of friends or friend - friends is made up of a few cousins, friends from high school, friends from college, sister in laws, my first teaching jobs, joy school and Eryn one of my current links to sanity.
I have decided to share some of my embarrassing experiences on the blog to help let go of this guilt. THIS is my most embarrassing experience of ALL time: (now I feel ok sharing this because I know that the only people that read this at all are my friend- friends)
Here goes... Lets set the stage properly. It is my wedding day! Well my wedding night to be more specific. We get to our room where we will be staying the night and Darin goes off to the restroom while I changed into something more comfortable. As I waited for Darin to come out I tried to get into a sexy position on the bed. Feeling pretty silly and a little uncomfortable I tried to get into a comfortable position. As Darin stepped out of the bathroom. I fell off the bed landing on my head rolled over and ended up sprawled at his feet spread eagle. Very unlady like. I was mortified. Darin was a complete gentleman. He picked me up and put me on the bed made sure I was ok. Then he said, he needed to get something from the car. I found him ten minutes later sitting outside our room laughing hysterically. For ten years or so anytime I tried to wear anything suggestive Darin would burst into hysteric laughter. So there it is out there. When my mom heard this story a few years ago at a bridal shower she could not stop laughing. She called her sisters to share the story she thought it was so hilarious. I think she even called my brothers. So embarrassing!

Thoughts on Momnesia & Cloning

I am not sure if anyone else out there has this problem. My children look alike. I think they might really be clones with slight genetic variation. Although I can attest that they are not clones, because I remember being at each of there births very distinctly. My children especially look alike as babies. I was looking at some baby pictures of my children recently and had to ask which child was in the picture because I was not sure. Ben is the only one that looked a little different as a baby. I really can't remember what he looked like as a baby at all (other than he was and is beautiful). I was looking at a picture of a baby at my in laws house a while back and asked who it was? I mentioned that Ben had an outfit exactly like the baby in the picture as a baby. My mother in law looked at me for a minute and then said, Meaghan that is Ben. Oh! At a baseball game this week when I glanced on the field to try and figure out where my kids were playing. I looked up and thought I saw Ben playing one first base. It took me a whole inning to figure out that I was actually looking at Nate and that Ben was in the outfield. Oy! If you are thinking that I might be having problems with my eyes and that I should go to an optometrist. My eyes are fine. My children just look very similar. I am not sure how people with triplets do it. I think it might be momnesia. Momnesia is believed to occur in mothers shortly after childbirth and it causes mental fuzziness and memory loss. USA Today reported on the condition on March 4, 2008. Researchers are unable to explain the way that motherhood affects a woman's memory but they are in agreement that a pattern is evident. Research has also shown that although fathers don't undergo the same severe changes that women do however they do experience a slight change in hormone levels. I am a big fan of momnesia and believe in it completely. Darin says it is a bunch of malarkey and I need to stop making excuses for being forgetful and unobservant.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Thoughts Just Thoughts

I did it! I finally broke down and got a hair cut. My hair is now 14 inches shorter than it was yesterday. I have not had my hair this short since my sophomore year of high school (18 years or so). It's pretty scary to admit that it was so long ago. My hair was down past my waist so it is now shoulder length. It might not sound like a big deal but 14 inches is allot. I usually get a hair cut at the end of my pregnancies, but I didn't have time before Nick was born and it took eight months to finally brake down and make an appointment. I had an unfortunate hair cut in high school and I am still a little uneasy anytime I get a hair cut. I am still sort of in shock but the short hair is growing on me. And it is so much easier! I have been procrastinating a multitude of work and cleaning. I think I am officially behind in everything. My mom is still here and she will probably go home in a week or so. I am enjoying having her around but I am sure she is tired or not being at home and I know my dad misses her. This is the icon for Pantene Beautiful Lengths campaign After looking at my hair donation options I have decided to donate to beautiful lengths I like the idea of my hair going to another women.